1、导语

What does beauty really mean? Everybody has it's own definition1. The standard of beauty changes with different society, culture and nations. Some hold the point that the beautiful appearance is of great importance, which is visible2 to all. Others have the idea that the spiritual beauty is the loveliest one, which lasts long. However different it might be, their opinions are all acceptable3.

什么是美呢?每一个人都有我们的概念。美的规范因社会、文化和国度不同而产生差异。有些人觉得面貌上的美是非常重要、最直观的美;有些人觉得心灵上的美是最可爱、最长久的美。虽然这类想法大不相同,但它们对美的概念却都是不无道理的。

2、创设情境来源:www.examda.com

以 What is beauty in your mind? 为主题,发表我们的看法,题目自拟。需要:

1. 行文流畅,看法鲜明,论证充分;

2. 内容丰富,层次分明,逻辑性强;

3. 词数 150 左右。

3、学生习作

※正方习作※

Beauty will buy no beef来源:www.examda.com

Everyone admires beauty. Everyone has his own standard about beauty.

Nowadays some people tend to think that they own beauty if they have a good looking. They are not satisfied with their appearance. They spend much money taking a kind of operation. Can beauty really be man-made? If so, everybody can get beauty. As a result, there is no beauty at all.

The appearance is given by our parents and is unique in the world. Everyone should value it. I'd ( 1 ) rather prefer nature as the standard of beauty. Just accept yourself, accept everything the god gives to you, and create the beautiful life ( 2 ) belong to you.

Many heroes don't have beautiful surface. However, their beautiful images often come to our minds. Their beauty comes from their contributions to the society.

Don't be eager to judge whether a person is beautiful or not without a thorough4 understanding of him. A beautiful person is not the one with a good looking, but with a broad and kind heart.

Good looking is pleasant while spiritual beauty is more important. As an old saying goes, Virtue5 is fairer than beauty. If you have a kind heart, you own real beauty.

点评:

本文以谚语漂亮不可以当饭吃为题,直截了当地亮出了我们的看法。全文以美德胜于美貌为主线,讲解了追求外形美而舍弃了内在美并非真的的美,英雄之美来自于奉献。文章看法鲜明,行文顺畅,结构严谨,用词适合。难能可贵的是,作者能运用谚语来强化我们的看法,有较强的英语语言组织能力和表达能力。

文中语言错误:( 1 ) I'd rather prefer 改为 I'd prefer . would rather 表宁可, prefer 也是宁可,两者不可以连用在一块。( 2 ) belong to 改为 belonging to . belonging to you 在此处作定语。

※反方习作※

A good face is a letter of recommendation6

Some people say beauty is just a skin deep. I don't quite agree with them. Good appearance often makes a big difference in social communication, competition, finding7 jobs and so on. Not only can good appearance help you become more confident, but also it helps you be impressed. If you want to get a good job, the first sight is important. Physical beauty is ( 1 ) probable8 to draw much attention.

However, we have to face this problem. We have no right to choose our appearance. When necessary, we can make up ourselves. If you think doing this is a good way to improve your confidence, just do what you really want to regardless ( 2 ) others' opinion. It is worth all the money and time. Facing a variety of social pressures, we young people should build confidence. Confidence is the key to success.

In a word, you may not be the most beautiful one, but you can be the most attractive one; you may not the best one, but you can be the most confident one. Show yourself and chances will kiss you in time.

点评:

爱美之心,人皆有之。一副好脸孔就是一封介绍信。作者围绕这一主题进行讲解。在现代社会里,漂亮的外表在社交、角逐、求职等方面的有着不可低估有哪些用途。作者立意大胆,构思巧妙,非常有个性。文章叙述了解,条理明确,层次分明,过渡自然。在语言表达上,巧妙地用了倒装、排比等句式和一些闪光点词汇,增强了文章的感染力。对于一名初中生来讲,本文不愧是一篇出色习作。

文中语言错误:( 1 ) probable 改为 likely . probable 不可以用某人或某物作主语,常用 it 作形式主语,构成 it is probable for sb. to do sth. 结构。( 2 ) regardless 之后加 of . regardless of 是复合介词,意为不理会,不考虑。